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Goran RadosavljevićGoran Radosavljević

Aphorism is like a mini skirt: if it isn’t short enough, it doesn’t hold the attention of the audience.

Aphorism is the fence between a man and all stupidities of the world.

Aphorism is the proverb’s son.

Aphorism is closest to silence.

Good aphorism is so funny it hurts.

Inspiration for writing aphorisms comes without announcement.
Just like for sex in elderly years.

I am writing aphorisms of uneven quality.
You can’t say which one is better.

I am writing daily actual topics.
They are actual every day.

Don’t try to see me through.
I am writing unseen aphorisms.

Be careful not do drown in my words!
My words are deep.

I would write better aphorisms if I were smarter.
Sorry, I wouldn’t write them at all.

I have sorted out my thoughts.
Now my every sentence is the aphorism.

My life is the mirror of my aphorisms.

What is minimum wage in economics, that is the aphorism in the literature.
You can shove it!

Write aphorisms!
You will have more time for your family.

Golden time of satire is the time of silence.

The best aphorisms about Serbs wrote Tesla: “The energy is all around us”.

Life writes novels.
What writes aphorisms can’t be called life.

Talk is not what you live of.
That is why I am writing a novel.

Write lousy aphorisms!
Let copycats be ashamed.

The brain is much more active during the process of dying.
That is why there are so many aphorisms in Serbia.

Everything has already been said, but, my God, this hasn’t:
Vythabe resadut asmuver!

He is our best satirist.
He stepped on everybody’s toe.

Serbian satirists are the worst.
They lack in changing anything.

You are more popular in politics if you don’t pick at anyone.
It is the opposite in satire.

Laughter is contagious disease that is transferred from healthy to sick people.

It’s not true that clever ones write, and only fools try to remember.
There are also fools that write.

The writers are like elections.
Power people decide whether they will prevail if they write too much.

Who survives is the one who writes!

In order to live on written word,
They have to be printed.

Many write from the historical distance.
They will be actual when history repeats itself.

Single swallow is not what spring is about,
As cute little talent is not what balls are about!

Everything he had written is on the edge of criminal;
No wonder he is into politics.

He is writing all his life,
But I don’t like any of it.
Now you understand how great I am?

Everyone will be better when I stop writing!

I write between the lines …
To the infinity.

I am not the member of any writer’s association.
I am not into politics.

Read between the lines and you will speed up reading
For one line per page!

Some books are hard to digest,
And some I just swallow.
Depending on how hungry I am.

Only fools have the right to represent certain opinions with no interruptions.
The freedom of speech is guaranteed to them.

We are limited.
Freedom of speech means nothing to us.

Serbia is individual drive particle of the atom.
It has no internal structure.

We have no boundaries.
That is why Serbia is great!

Living in Serbia is art
That very few understand.

Nothing is threatening the stability of Serbia.
It never had one.

Organs are acting differently.
Is Serbia pregnant?

Meet Serbia to love her more!
Until you still have something to meet.

With God’s will, Serbia will be monarchy again!
Then all fools will be on court.

Serbs don’t like drunks drunk on success.

The Serbs are crazy nation.
The ones who left the country are no longer.

The Serbs are the oldest nation.
They know everything, but no one asks them.

The Serbs are young nation.
They believe in all kinds of crap.

Serbs, hear, hear!
You will stand it easier then to look.

Speak Serbian so the whole world understands you.
Moan!

No way that we are the nation without vision ?!
We are looking at beans everyday.

I know from which direction the wind blows.
But I do not know where did they get such load of beans?

It is not too bad you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Eclipse is in progress.

Eclipse of Serbia is taking too long.
That explains such large number of blind people.

What eclipse?
At work I see neither Sun nor Moon.

Our shades are down.
Guilty parties are the eclipsed minds.

Eclipse of Serbia – Pure oxymoron!

What light, what neutrino.
Here, the darkness is the fastest.

The electrons are, like the poor, negatively electrified, and have small mass.

Atomic central can be wrong once,
But not a hundred times!

Atom is disgusting.
I can’t look at him.

Neutrino is the future!
Yesterday.

This has to stop!
Well, This, you’re such an ass.

We’ve changed the actors,
But the tragedy remains the same.

We are breaking our heads,
And then spill wisdom.

We are not closing our eyes in front of the reality,
But there is not purpose of staring at the dark.

Only if we would open our eyes,
We would find ourselves for sure.

We are not for anything.
We have everything.

We have tightened our belt.
Pull out the chair.

We’ve escaped from the hoe.
Now we are digging with our arms and legs.

Pour some optimism.
We are still not sure if the glass is half – full, or half – empty.

We are not crazy people!
Only our arms are tied.

We are limited.
From cradle to the grave.

We are going into circles.
In the same spot.

We are naked as guns.
One day we will blow off.

We have succeeded in our struggle for naked life.
We are naked and barefoot.

We are naked and barefoot.
It will be easier for them to carry us on their souls.

We still got time.
The music is still playing on our Titanic.

Our ship won’t sink.
We don’t have one.

We are hanging on a string.
We can’t even hang ourselves properly.

We have hit the bottom.
Hanging is no more an option.

Unplanned expenses are killing us!
Like the planned ones do not ?!

We are eating beans instead of bananas.
We are special kind of monkeys.

We have an attitude.
The crawling one.

No one is asking us anything.
Our grades are final long time ago.

We are in the washing machine.
After washing our brain,
The conditioner will be added.

Some of them transferred to organic food.
They ate our liver!

We are aiming high.
In the back area.

It’s a lottery if we would be pulled out.

If we don’t make a turn,
We’ll get back where we came from.

If we lose our roots,
We’ll have nothing to eat.

How can we be aware of the moment we are in
If we are in knockdown?

If it is rotten in Denmark,
Why is it falling apart here?

We do not need any commercial.
We are selling ourselves without it.

You get the impression and that is all you get.

We eat three times a day ..
With our eyes.

We have sucked up.
Now we eat with the little spoon.

If we are hungry, we are not thirsty!
We’re drinking meds!

It came from our ass to our head.
We eat nothing else.

We have turned over.
Now we don’t know where our ass,
And where our head is.

We are back to our roots.
Sitting on the bench.

The tree of our live is naked.
Roots are all we got left.

Of our destiny we are deciding cold headed.
We are good as dead.

New generations grow faster,
But mature slower.

Stop with fairytales.
We fell asleep long ago.

They are sleeping peacefully.
They woke up on time.

Coming generations are going!

Smart ones are choosing their company.
That is why they are fewer of them each day in Serbia.

We would stay here,
But our nerves are already gone.

Look on the misery from the brighter side.
Step out of Serbia!

Who is the last to leave should turn off the light.
Of course, if the switch can be seen in the dark.

God looked at us
As soon as we left the country.

History is repeating itself .
History, history, history …

History of disease is the teacher of death.

Historicists are people with no imagination.

We live in the past.
The rest is history.

Present time is daughter in law of the past
And mother in law of the future.

Reliving the past is usually not such a good idea.
The same goes for the present also.

Do not change yourselves!
You will lose your present and your future!

Future is knocking at the door.
Be kind to her.

We have stepped in brighter future.
Now we’re blinded.

Everything you can do better today
Leave for better tomorrow.

If you want to know, great future is waiting for us.
I can talk about it until tomorrow.

Power is corrupting people.
As a preventive measure,
We always elect apes!

In any political party’s program
Nothing is said regarding authority surrender.

There is authority in criminal as well!

We have the Government that the world had not seen.
Talking about blind ones.

New Government took over the hot potato,
And we don’t have even the bread!

Once upon a time our Government was
On Corfu or in Nice.
This current one seems like it acts from Mars!

Some batteries are like politicians in Government:
Charging until formed.

Politicians are geniuses.
They made us owe so much.

Politicians are like tampons.
They should be changed frequently
Before they get really full.

Maybe you lead us well,
But we miss seeing your back.

It’s not so much that they are selling us fog,
But that we are regular buyers.

The state is protecting bears.
By diplomatic immunity.

You have played your tune.
Now leave the instruments of power.
We can’t applaud you.
We are holding you to your word.

We’ll shit our pants from happiness
If we don’t lose this crap!

They make even the hungry one shit his pants.

Maybe some politicians are worth mentioning, but in the interest of the investigation their names remain unrevealed.

How can we make an arrest, when no one is attending the Assembly sessions?

Apes surrounded by gorillas are real danger for every banana country.

What is your play?
You brought us to the final act.

You are so funny.
Go away before we burst.

They are naked, we have the power.
How can we not use the circumstances?

This nation will live …
When we wish so.

Come a little bit lower and you will know what we want you to do.

What’s the rebel for?
We haven’t done anything.

Their continence is ethically clear.

They are holding positions,
And we are just shooting blanks?!

Maybe we do not know why politicians are visiting people during campaigns,
But we surely know who is sick in this story.

It’s time for change!
I’m changing parties.

Make promises.
It’s better than doing nothing.

The situation is complex.
We have simple majority.

It’s about time for us to promise something to the politicians.
That promise we won’t forget.

They’ve forgotten everything they lied about.
Now they are vainly telling the truth to the ones who remember.

We will elect you again, until the promises you gave are fulfilled.

Elections are the best reminder how insane we are.

If we could vote for ourselves at the elections,
Double personalities would win again.

We have to live better!
Vote for us!

Time is working in mortician’s favor.

Ape on the highest branch never aims for the higher purpose.

He’s the first among equals.
Others are his clones.

Some factor he is.
For the brighter future we need stronger one!

He’s playing his game.
One step forward, two steps back.

He’s guilty.
Correct me if I’m wrong.

Our leader flipped.
OK, he’s not one-sided.

Our leader is empty,
But still full!

We can hardly connect to the leader.
He’s out of reach.

He tried to change history,
But he stuck with accusative.

Don’t look at the leader,
Look where you’re going!

We turned our backs to him.
Now he’s riding us backwards.

Thieves count on their fingers.

Thieves have the most developed ecological conscience.
They clean everything.

We put right people on right places.
Now we steal more efficiently.

If they win, they’ll take the gold … all of it.

Light at the end of the tunnel!
Finally to see all we have stolen.

Not everything is dirty.
That’s why they’ll take even the dirt under our nails.

Everything can’t be done over night.
That’s why they steal by day, too.

Thieves are ugly because they get ready quick-handedly.

Previous government left us nothing.
Nothing to steal.

Even the thief is good, if he can make the difference between good and bad.

They crossed all the lines.
Now they are safe.

Criminal is blooming.
It doesn’t smell well.

No need to put fences between us and criminals.
They already built high walls.

I’m not putting myself down to your level.
I never liked underground.

It’s not hard to enter underground.
You just need to be buried alive.

In the underground you have to step over the corpses.

We gave our last blow to criminal and corruption.
We let everyone out of the prison.

It is time for the responsible ones to take responsibility!

Finally, they are behind bars.
Visitors, please do not feed animals.

We’re not taking bribe.
We’re on the break.

The defendant is not guilty.
Judge himself asked him for the money.

Life is cheaper everyday.
Doctors will save you for a good deal.

Finally I have the money!
Now, just to choose a doctor.

It’s not easy to the investigator.
He doesn’t know where he’s kicking.

Already known to the police.
His donuts were amazing.

Already known to the police.
Before they joined the Parliament.

They’re threatening us with violence.
Finally we’ll meet our Creator!

Employers, it’s going to be fucked
If you do not stimulate your employees.

Job is like a women:
It can’t wait.

There are many employees just on paper.
Even more are just on bread.

Who says we do nothing?
We are charging our batteries.

From the first to the last we live from the first to the first.

I work for the state.
It pays me, and then takes everything.

I work for two men,
But only one of them is paying.

If there is no war soon,
We’ll forget all the customs.

Gun is not a child for you to be happy when it talks.

As soon as we realized the monuments are making our country beautiful,
We started another war.

They raised a revolution,
And then everything else.

We’ve finished this war thing.
Now we play hide and seek.

We released pigeons of peace.
Let them save themselves, at least.

Claim victory.
We can’t stand it anymore.

The crime does not obsolete.
It is always in.

Serial killer doesn’t return to the scene of crime.
If he would return, he would not have time to kill again.

We would like, to finalize everything, to enter the EU.

Serbian nation proved itself the best during slavery time.
We can hardly wait to enter EU!

We are in Europe.
Turn on the light and you’ll see us.

The door to Europe is closed for us.
We are entering as soon as they disarm the alarm.

If we continue with reforms with this speed, very soon we’ll reach double standards of EU.

We can feed half of Europe.
If we had teeth, there wouldn’t be so many leftovers.

All the roads are passing us by.
Soon we’ll become touristic attraction.

We are going nowhere.
At least it will be a long walk.

Maybe we’re on the right path,
But who can be sure in this dark?

At first there was a word,
But eventually it also got tail.

If we had no stomach, our tongue would be quicker than our brain.

I envy the crazy ones.
At least, they have shirts.

There is even worse from the worse.
That’s the worst.

Don’t move our monuments or bones.
We are already turning in our graves.

For the one who doesn’t know how to play,
The last whole in the pipe can be the first as well.

Macroeconomic politic is the way the macro economizes with the whore.

Crap of the man is cannibal’s crap.

There is a saying that law was not written for fools
Probably because fools have written it?

Stimulating measures for larger birthrate:
90-60-90

I’m looking at the pictures of me and my friends couple of years ago, and I’m happy I can say that we haven’t changed a bit! We are even wearing the same clothes…

Our dogs are eating bones.
As always, they are identifying with their owners.

The more I know people, the more I love animals.
I can’t compromise.

I kindly ask animals to form the association for humans protection!

Adjusting to the nature, from the ape became a man.
Adjusting the nature to himself, from the man will become an ape.

You are born innocent.
They’ll accuse you of something later.

His success became heavier.
He pissed all over his diploma.

He’s a bloody genius.
His discontent no one understands.

Now, let me hear the other side, said the wall.

Money does not buy happiness!
With it you can buy house, car, job, people and other nonsense.

Hungry people don’t take crap.

The first listener who answers our call, will be he first who got to us.

Oh, how more humane it would be if some people wouldn’t take part in humanitarian events.

Junky on thin ice is double hooked.

Everything would be different if Indians to the Pilgrims offered to play with their monkey, instead of eating their turkey.

Inconvenient are diseases that come from the legs.
Especially spread ones.

Hope will bury us.
She dies last.

Time is money.
It works for us.

Time is money.
It heals all the wounds.

Song kept us going,
But it seems we’ll be singing swan’s song soon.

My safe house,
My freedom!

I honor only the judgment of my children!

Since I lost media war with my children,
I am watching only cartoons.

You allow a lot to yourself,
If you allow a lot to your children.

We had the best parties when we didn’t plan.
We didn’t plan the children either,
But now party is out of the question.

Use this sunny days.
Send children to your parents.

If you have children, and still don’t understand your parents,
Check if the children are yours.

It’s better to have several children.
Someone will say “thank you”.

Children, eat fruits and vegetables!
It’s the stuff that is unpacked.

When I feel like coming, she comes to me!

She’s my weakness.
I can’t get rid of her.

I flipped for nothing.
It’s double-sided.

I’m not limping.
She’s pulling my leg.

She gave me her heart.
And to the others – everything else.

It’s good our borders are shrinking.
I’ll meet her …

I love my wife because she has what others don’t.
Me!

My wife is my best friend.
She stands by me since I made the biggest mistake in my life and got married.

I feel so young with my wife.
My vote doesn’t count.

Woman is man’s accessory.

His wife is his best friend.
She had a sex change.

My wife and I are practicing safe sex.
I go on business trips on regular basis.

My wife is getting angry with me when I don’t bathe …
Women are to think, and men are to stink.

Women know what they want,
But sometimes it’s not the place or the time.

Women are disease carried over the door step.

Women are not to be asked about age.
They are asking themselves for ages.

Women are very often left speechless.
They used all the words.

If you lost your mind over a woman, than you never had one …
I mean woman, not mind.

Women are supernatural phenomena.
I don’t understand them at all.

To the woman and to the whole world you can be good only when the woman is your whole world.

When woman has a good husband, you can see it on her face.
The same goes if she has a bad one.

It’s meaningless to clone women.
They are all the same.

On the way to the woman’s heart, it’s certain you’ll bump into hole.

Where does the path begins that leads through the stomach to the man’s heart?

The man is good standing,
Until it’s no longer standing.

The first love is unforgettable.
The last one … what the last one?

Love is a time period from two people getting to know each other until two people got to know each other.

Love is a disease with no cure.
Even laughter doesn’t help.

Claim that love can’t put food in your stomach,
Is not valid for cannibals.

Wedding is the eclipse of love.
At that moment you are entering in the shadow of your mother in law.

Sometimes it is enough to say only two letters and to prove how stupid you are!

Wedding dress is the white flag of gentle sex.

Marriage is the time period that comes after love and before divorce.

If you are cruising in marriage waters, you are on the ship of lunatics.

Nothing before marriage!
Afterwards you lose everything.

I am gentleman, but not in marriage.
There I am a companion.

My marriage ship crashed.
At least I got rid of the rats.

In marriage, confidence is the most important.
Always believe in whatever the partner is telling you.

In order to succeed as a society, we have to make urgent changes, first in the family.
For the start, and for the greater good, think about changing your spouse.

I would lead double life,
But possibility of having two mother in laws terrifies me.

Your old age will ask you where your youth went.
If it remembers.

Young – crazy,
Old – confused.

Older we get, more of a children we become.
Foreplays are lasting longer and longer.

Old friends aren’t coming over anymore.
Even if they wanted to, they can’t.

Pension is killing retired people.
Every month.

To older people their “thing” is like a flag.
When rising, it’s a celebration.

Sexual revolution is fucking its children.

Even in sexual revolution,
The innocent ones fall.

Girls are like wall papers: They are striping faster when they are wet!

Month period is the period when that thing has those days.

Two love triangles make one square love!

We all have the same fetish.
We are attracted to the Earth!

Tightening our belt when we are naked is not the nonsense.
That’s new trend in our party for poor.

The most women are changed by surgeons.

The prostitute’s incomes depend on how many came in.

He hurried up.
Now she’s late.

I wasn’t cheating and it’s not how it looks like!
She’s uglier without make up.

Darling, it’s not what you think.
The others are thinking for you.

To one like to no one, so she had to do it to the other one also.

Today you are, tomorrow you are no more.
I’m yesterday.

I was asking for a woman until I found her.
When I found her, I was asking for.

I sleep all day.
During the day with mistress, during the night with wife.

They wouldn’t give me years that I have.
So say the girls that I haven’t.

I’m falling harder when I take drugs for potency.

He looked down to see how up is it.

It’s not a small thing when you have the big “thing”.

I’m excited.
Touched by reward.

I quit!
I’m tired of being fucked.

I’ve reduced sexual relations to the minimum.
Now I am just fucking myself.

Eureka!
Sinking ship is lighter for the weight of rats that ran away!

Two and two are nine …
Yes, I’m in love.

Two and two are four.
Without bribe!

Two and two are two.
If you got four, it would be three.

Two and two are four.
Until further notice.

Two and two is fifty eight to three.

Two and two are zero.
Crime math.

God of justice sees everything,
So it’s clear why there is no justice.

God is not a writer.
He knows everything.

God created world in six days,
And I created only one aphorism.

Nothing starts with me.
I am no ape.

I was born in the wrong place.
I saw it as soon as I’ve opened my eyes.

I swallowed what I wanted to say.
And almost choke on it.

I became a man!
God, what an ape I was.

I am my biggest enemy.
It would be different if I were rich.

I am shoppingholic.
Go for shopping, end up in the bar.

You own what you know …
As far as I know – I own nothing!

I will become an optimist when prisons become half-full.

I got my paycheck!
It’s three days wonder.

I would start from myself,
But I can’t find myself.

Even I don’t know where I am.
My wife will think that I’m cheating on her.

I can’t find myself.
I’m the lost case.

I can’t come to my senses.
I went too far.

I would be left oriented,
But I don’t know where left is.

Everything that’s human is not strange to me.
Everything strange to me is mostly not human.

They say I’m out?
Challenge!

I took a racket.
Now I’m playing in prison courtyard.

I’m rich!
With imagination.

I lost imagination.
I can’t even imagine them.

I’m not two-faced.
You’re drunk.

I am servicing women.
No charge for arrival.

I’m killing time.
Call in the morning.

I never clean my flat.
Time will put things on their place.

There’s lot of apes on my family tree.

I made her a queen.
What king am I.

I’m good in every company.
I can’t put myself together.

I can’t run away from myself.
I’m much too fast.

I am a magnet for fools.
They keep me on their refrigerator.

Don’t interrupt me!
I’m talking to myself.

Finally I got to know myself.
There’s not time to catch on.

Finally I got to know myself.
I admit, it was a great honor to me.

Give me nut to go nuts!

From my point of view I don’t see what you see and that is my point!

I don’t aim higher.
I’ll have to sell my sniper.

I have dangerous ideas,
But I don’t feel like going to prison.

Am I stupid?
I don’t know, I’m not smart.

If I were smart, I wouldn’t work on myself every day.

I lost my mind.
I kindly ask honest intelligence to return it.

I’m thirsty, because I don’t drink on empty stomach.
Pills I have to.

I’m smarter when I’m silent, but I can’t hold it any more:
I’m hungry !!!!!

I live, but not living.
Have I become immortal?

Asking for trouble?
No trouble.

When someone pisses me off, I count to 10.
After that, if I’m still angry, I beat him until 10:30!

Accept reality.
It’s orphan.

Come between people.
You’ll speed up evolution.

Cancel democracy!
Even without it, apes know who is the biggest among them.

When you eat, you don’t talk!
Are you crazy to talk that you ate?!

Don’t be confused that in this crazy world no one notices that you’re crazy.

You don’t have to be smart to define mass.
It’s enough to go to the gym.

Don’t take the mud off.
You’ll stand naked.

Cover yourself with ears if you get busted.

Don’t insult people.
They’ll get the impression they’re famous.

Draw the line .. on your palm.
You’ll change your destiny.
Go East.
Be in front of your time.

When drowning, grab a straw.
Grabbing yourself won’t help.

Only the one who thinks like you, can you persuade of how clever you are.

Stop with food ads!
I’ll eat my TV.

It’s not important if people, as the ultimate judge, do not have a wiener.
It’s much important they have balls!

Adjust your clocks.
It’s about time.

Repeating is the mother of all knowledge,
Repeating is the mother of all knowledge …

I think, therefore, I’m still not aware that others think for me.

I think, therefore, I exist, thanks to my parents.

Smarter one is letting go.
He’ll shit his pants!

Who admits, the half is forgiven.
And that is how justice works.

Justice wins at the end.
Fortunately, the end is near.

What’s use of work.
Enough proof is that it created a man.

Good roomer of the skunk is the furthest to be heard.

You don’t have to sort dirty laundry.
It’s always black.

Imagination makes wonders.
You don’t need knowledge for that.

Life has a low value.
It’s out of date.

Oh, yes, we really know how to live.
It’s just we don’t know what shall we live of.

Our live is what our thoughts are,
But until we think, live goes by.

Life is a death sentence.

Enjoy life like you enjoy wine.
Just, be careful not to drop dead.

Human life is the most valuable,
But even that merchandise has its buyer.

There are many unjustifiably absent from the school of life.

We live fast.
We sleep for twenty hours.

We put our life on dice.
Finally we are living normally.

Man can survive seven days without food,
Under condition that he ate something first.

The truth is one.
Like mother.

The truth can’t be hidden.
It’s keeping eyes closed.

When bottoms are on the top,
The truth doesn’t come to the surface.

Keeping your mouth shut is the smartest diet.

Who would say that silence is gold?

Repeat several times Goebel’s thought:
“More times repeated lie becomes the truth”
and you’ll figure out what the truth is.

In purpose of the balance with good,
From two evils we always choose bigger one.

Good, better, the least evil.
Bad, worse, the greatest good.

Man is the last in food chain.

Losers are for the longest in race.

Persons on high levels are the first to fall low.

The ones with easy moral come to the surface first.

It’s easier to swim if you’re empty headed.

If you weight more, you fall faster.

Flattering is the food of the vanity.

What drop of wine is the drop of truth?

Knowledge is the tax free luxury.

If you put every word in the right place, no word will be your last.

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